Written Tributes

“Paul had the special ability to pay close attention to what was happening in the present at the same time he was anticipating the future. The growth and development of Paideia from its small beginnings to its large and successful state today is due to his leadership and ability to plan ahead. ….Paul seemed invincible, a tower of strength, always there when I needed him. It is unusual to have a friendship that lasts over 50 years. There are even fewer that also involve working together. Paul and I had the enjoyment of both. I miss him.”

– Paul Hayward, Former Paideia High School Principal & Parent

“Paul’s presence was infused into so many critical moments of my childhood. I remember him coming into our classroom not long after we’d watched The Challenger explode live on TV. I remember how Paul and Judy entered the room, quietly and came in and sat on the floor with us and talked to us about what happened - acknowledging how sad and scary it was, and that they and our teachers were there to help us try to understand. He got down on our level and let us see him vulnerable and sad, and without answers. That moment planted an unforgettable seed of empathy in me, even as a six-year-old, and exemplified how important it is especially for adults to acknowledge feelings and to be present with kids.”

Emily Mason Beard '97

“He was unlike any other principal I ever had. He let me and my friends drive his golf cart onto the auditorium stage during the talent show. Coming from years of public school before Paideia, it was a huge change to be part of a place that fostered compassion, a love of learning, and mutual respect between teachers and students. He made that possible. He may be gone but he'll live on forever through this wonderful school.”

– Will Moran '08

“I got notified that Paul wanted to see me. There were numerous stupid things I was either directly or indirectly involved in at the time, that I suspected the meeting was probably concerning. I proceeded to his office armed with excuses for each. He called me in. I sat down. Paul said, “Let’s go get some lunch”. We drove to St. Charles Deli. We ordered. Talked sports while we ate.

I’m waiting for the real reason to appear. Once the food was gone, he told me a story. It was not about sports, but I knew exactly the stupid thing he was referencing. I had nothing to rebut the stupid thing. He had the goods, and I knew it. He knew it to. And that was it. Maybe he thought the story would sink in. He was right. I only knew him for three years. That was long enough to know he, and his school had a profound effect on my life.”

Jared Cook '85

“One of the proudest days of my life was when Paul hugged me after Maggie and Tilly’s graduation and said, “You did a good job.””

Mary Chapman, Former Paideia Teacher and Alumni Parent

“My dad was a Navy pilot. I’ve always been thrilled by the visceral power of military jets streaking across the sky, the high whine of engines momentarily blocking all other sensory input. Vanishing as quickly as they appear, they leave only their vapor contrails against a crisp azure sky. Those clouds fade quickly, yet like the wings of a butterfly they forever alter the atmosphere. 

Paul was like those jets, his energy and vision erupting with force, his ideas and deep morality and commitment commanding full attention. Whether he was speaking or writing, you were compelled to focus on his message, to feel the perturbations to your own assumptions, and most often to discover your own thoughts enriched, refined, clarified—and delightfully punctuated with his unmatched sense of humor.”

Alice Gertzman, Paideia Alumni Parent

“Paul was able to see promise in people, and to be able to see promise is at the very heart of education. To truly see someone is to see who they are and who they can be. I will be forever grateful that he hired me when I was 26 years old in 1977. I wanted nothing more than to work at this little funky school being improvised on Ponce. He supported me in all the stages of my growth for the next 44 years—from assistant teacher to lead teacher, and then when I wanted to go to graduate school in psychology, even though I don’t think he was wild about the idea, he still found a way to keep me hired as a part-time co-teacher until I earned my degree and become the counselor in the high school.  Paul saw what I could be and helped me get there, and when it reached a point where I wanted something different, he still stood by me.  He beheld me and saw my promise.  This is the core blessing of education, and this what Paideia, at its best, does for faculty and students. It has simply been one of the most profound joys of my life to have worked at the beautiful school he led.”

– Thrower Starr, Former Paideia Teacher, Counselor, and Alumni Parent

“My son's graduation day is still one of my favorite memories, thanks to Paul nailing the best description of my son, as a curmudgeon! ”

Lindy Day, Paideia Alumni Parent

“For many years, I played in a Sunday morning pickup basketball game in the old Multipurpose room…. There was a stretch during that time when one of the players was none other than Paul Bianchi. Clearly given Paul’s disability, he could not move very well he could plant himself at the three-point line and shoot so well that my memory is that he definitely had to be guarded. What this told me about Paul was that he was not going to let his disability limit or define his life. Quite frankly, I was in awe of him for the way he took on that and so many other challenges.”

Robbie Dokson, Former Paideia Board Member and Alumni Parent

“My mom shared a mantra with me early in life - one I’ve tried to pass along to my children. “I wonder what this will be like?” That phrase reminds me so much of Paul and -by extension - Paideia. To bring curiosity - lodged firmly in the present moment - is the best of what one can bring to a school day – or any day. That, and kindness, daily exemplifies what I see at Paideia.

I suspect the word legacy is not one. Paul would’ve dwell on or wanted used with his name, but a legacy is what he has given us all not in the heavy weight of an edifice, but in seeds of bravery of kindness of curiosity and of joy for generations.”

Dena Kimball, Paideia Parent

Thirty-five years ago, I met my future in-laws. I remember Paul looking at me a little side eyed for a while but couldn't help but immediately know this man was larger than life. The crooked stature polio left, the Atlantan with a Boston accent, the school headmaster stories, and the love of life emanated non-stop since then. I was blessed to know Paul as family - and doubly so for my children. There will only ever be one Paul Bianchi and we will miss him terribly. The hole for Barbara, Melissa, Sarah, and Emily is unmeasurable, and for all he touched immense. The legacy is forever.

Manny Pastreich – Son-in-Law

“When I left for Paideia for Vermont, Paul expressed regret but understood my need to grow and keep moving. In all the years since, I have endeavored to make sure our school hewed closely to values I saw him uphold: Let fun and joy be given full play; Give teachers freedom and support, laugh frequently--school is a beautiful circus. Paul showed the way to the beauty a school could be. Long may his memory shine.”

Tal Birdsey '83, Former Paideia Teacher

“Paideia provided my 12-year-old self a place to take school seriously and yet also learn to take yourself less seriously. One of Paul’s and my memorable interactions in high school was in Modern America when he called on me and then kept interrupted me, so I blurred it out ‘geez Paul “Shut the F up.” He told everyone this story at graduation.

Paul continued to keep me on his radar and took me to lunch my first-year teaching. He always took care of his community. Landing a job at Paideia was just another way he helped me strengthen my connection to Paideia. I’m so appreciative of the place I’ve call work home since 2012. It’s been a place of immense feelings and growth- not always comfortable, but always safe.”

– Emily Austin '98, Paideia Teacher

“Paul and I were notoriously bad whenever we sat next teach other at faculty meetings and humor was always at the root of our troubles. I could never thank him enough for giving me a chance at that teaching thing, it obviously ended up being the best work decision I ever made.”

Chris Morrison, Former Paideia Teacher

“Many have spoken about his special comments he made at graduation for every graduate—truly a revered and feared moment for the graduate, wondering if they would be first, last, or skipped over. Yet as parents we all looked forward to it; so much so that we all prayed he would not retire before our kids were able to experience that unique moment. I had a sigh of relief when he stayed through my sons’ graduations in ‘99 and ‘01; and remarkably for 23 years more.”

– Sheri King, Former Paideia Board Member and Alumni Parent